i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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