I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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