ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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