I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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