She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
