i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
