kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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