Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
