Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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