It's Friday. Sex?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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