She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
