if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
