so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
