So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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