Slut skills are useful in every country.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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