Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize