yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
