i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
