96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
