i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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