we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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