i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
