Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
