You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
