Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I will die if light touches me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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