she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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