Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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