If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
