I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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