Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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