we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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