We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
babies were throwing up all over the place
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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