apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
