dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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