She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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