i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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