if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
