it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
