What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
