I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
