I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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