My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
