Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
