my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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