Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Let's paint friendship bongs
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Randomize
