my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
