I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
