Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
