"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize