Dual....:-)
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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