i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
my liver is dry heaving
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
