Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
