i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
