Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
