You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize