I want to have your abortion
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
