Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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