Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
