I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
